cant believe im actually pissed off at what my insensitive mom said
Her stuff are gone and she asks where it is. i told her i only used it once and so i didnt think that it was me. and then my sister says she thinks it was cause im always using things then lying about it-.-
okay yes it's not as if i cant take jokes. so i laughed it off cause she was kidding then when my mom couldnt find it then she was like: ''so is this it? you always have a reputation for lying"
WHAT THE FUCK? IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE AND NOT SERIOUS? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?? WILL SHE NOT STOP ACCUSING ME OF TAKING HER BLOODY FOAM WASH AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE?
WHAT THE HELL AND SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SHE SAID WRONG?
WHAT THE FUCK
i swear i have the most unsupportive and discouraging mother in the world. she never ever encourages me and praising me will literally take a pound of flesh out of her.she smsed and asked what was wrong.. wth WHAT IS WRONG? im telling you now it's how unsupportive discouraging biased mother she is.
nono im not biased i love each and everyone of you equally.well yeah you dont fucking show it.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
i cant believe it
this is the second post of the day and i have currently more to complain about
i cant believe my relatives
my aunt can remember what the other do eat and wont eat and she doesnt remember mine. i left the last abalone for my parents are what did they do? they have it to the youngest one. then my uncle says that the younger one is dainty and lady like unlike the other two. then he quickly turns and tell the older one that it's okay for her to be unlady like cause a lawyer doesnt need to be like that. she can be ruthless and whatever shit. and my mom didnt bother to stand up for me. just like how she didnt stand up for me years ago when my uncle called me the ugliest out of the three. what the fuck is this? the middle child curse? people expect something form the first and adore the younger one. does it ever cross their mind that there is a middle one that is minutely sandwiched in between the two fabulous and gorgeous angels? even my granny said i should go for plastic cause my nose bridge is low and my eyes are small. she asked me why my eyes appeared so big at dinner and so small when i went over to her house 3 days ago. I WAS FUCKING THE ONLY ONE THAT WENT OVER TO TALK AND KEEP HER COMPANY.
i try okay. i really go all out to try and be a filial asian kid but whatever i do is just never enough for them. no matter how i try to lose weight, how i try to doll myself up... what ever i do is always worst than the other two. it's not that i have a serious inferiority complex, my family and relatives just make ot so apparent that i am really the worst out of the three. i didnt even get to call them at dinner. after the younger one greeted them they immediately started on dinner and didnt bother to wait for me to greet them, HELLO? IM LIKE FUCKING IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKED UP FACES CAN YOU NOT FUCKING SEE ME?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HUH? AM I NOT SIGNIFICANT ENOUGH FOR ALL YOU MIGHTY KINGS AND QUEENS TO RESISTER A LOWLY SUBJECT AS I IN YOUR FUCKING AWESOME MIND?
i fucking swear im going to get that 6 points at o level exams this year abd show all you fucking bitches that im fucking smart so just admit it already. i have heard like 4 negative comments about my intellectual smarts and my appearance. i am fucking sensitive to negative comments okay? i just hate them
this is the second post of the day and i have currently more to complain about
i cant believe my relatives
my aunt can remember what the other do eat and wont eat and she doesnt remember mine. i left the last abalone for my parents are what did they do? they have it to the youngest one. then my uncle says that the younger one is dainty and lady like unlike the other two. then he quickly turns and tell the older one that it's okay for her to be unlady like cause a lawyer doesnt need to be like that. she can be ruthless and whatever shit. and my mom didnt bother to stand up for me. just like how she didnt stand up for me years ago when my uncle called me the ugliest out of the three. what the fuck is this? the middle child curse? people expect something form the first and adore the younger one. does it ever cross their mind that there is a middle one that is minutely sandwiched in between the two fabulous and gorgeous angels? even my granny said i should go for plastic cause my nose bridge is low and my eyes are small. she asked me why my eyes appeared so big at dinner and so small when i went over to her house 3 days ago. I WAS FUCKING THE ONLY ONE THAT WENT OVER TO TALK AND KEEP HER COMPANY.
i try okay. i really go all out to try and be a filial asian kid but whatever i do is just never enough for them. no matter how i try to lose weight, how i try to doll myself up... what ever i do is always worst than the other two. it's not that i have a serious inferiority complex, my family and relatives just make ot so apparent that i am really the worst out of the three. i didnt even get to call them at dinner. after the younger one greeted them they immediately started on dinner and didnt bother to wait for me to greet them, HELLO? IM LIKE FUCKING IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKED UP FACES CAN YOU NOT FUCKING SEE ME?
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HUH? AM I NOT SIGNIFICANT ENOUGH FOR ALL YOU MIGHTY KINGS AND QUEENS TO RESISTER A LOWLY SUBJECT AS I IN YOUR FUCKING AWESOME MIND?
i fucking swear im going to get that 6 points at o level exams this year abd show all you fucking bitches that im fucking smart so just admit it already. i have heard like 4 negative comments about my intellectual smarts and my appearance. i am fucking sensitive to negative comments okay? i just hate them
it's only the first day of cny and i cant wait for it to end..
sometimes i really hate my family ---- relatives to be exact
all they do is to keep tossing hurtful comments my way. What is this an asian tradition to poke fun at the ill fated middle child?
what the fuck is wrong with these narcissistic sadistic bitches of life?
they croon over my younger sister.. saying how pretty she is how skinny she is how cute her things are how different and mature she looks now
and then everyone adores the older one about her job about her post schooling life about everything
heck , they even compliment her for her smile in photots when it's exactly the same as mine
. yeah that's what everyone says. that me and my older sister look alike but she's just prettier smarter and everything that im not. the worst part is i have been watching my diet like some fuck and what the fuck happens?i get a
comment like this:" $%*&((&^%$$#@%^&*( watch your diet"
Me: huh what?
irritating relative: " i said you must start watching your diet''
what the fuck that was the most fucking offensive thing i've heard so far this year.i have been going to the gym and saying no to sinful food so religiously
and on the other hand he said that my plump older sister has slim down, he even said my overweight cousin has lost weight. what the fuck is his problem?
so what if im not as fucking skinny as his anorexic girlfriend? what the hell he's like what? 23, has a son, divorced and is on his third girlfriend?
i am fucking skinner than the two of them and he has to say these to poke at my ego. what do i have a billboard sign over my head that say hey over here!! call me fat or you're a dickhead
what is up with asian relatives? NOONE has passed a single good comment about me today. NOONE. and that';s why i always shut up at gatherings. because there is no one worth talking to. i dont think any one understand how i feel.
except for the rest of the middle childs in the world
i googled and there's something called a middle child syndrome
"Middle kids bemoan their fate as being ignored and often grow resentful of all the parental attention given to the oldest and the baby of the family, and feel short-shifted. Three kids triangulate sibling relationships, with one child at any given point feeling like the odd man out from the chumminess of the other two.
Parents tend to be much more easy-going, less anxious, and less demanding with second and third children. Thus many middle children grow up with a more relaxed attitude towards life than their older siblings; though they have to compete for family attention against the milestones set by the oldest, and growing up in their shadow. Middle children have to try a little harder to “be heard” or get noticed. The middle child usually has to fight harder for the attention of their parents and therefore crave the family spotlight. They may feel that they do not get as much praise as the older children for simple firsts like tying a shoe or riding a bike. Those things just become expected."
agreed
Common Traits
Second Child Characteristics
Because you can't seem to show the same excitement about your second child, as you do with your first-born, he/she is likely to develop certain 'second child traits' so that your attention will be drawn towards them.
im always the worst
sometimes i really hate my family ---- relatives to be exact
all they do is to keep tossing hurtful comments my way. What is this an asian tradition to poke fun at the ill fated middle child?
what the fuck is wrong with these narcissistic sadistic bitches of life?
they croon over my younger sister.. saying how pretty she is how skinny she is how cute her things are how different and mature she looks now
and then everyone adores the older one about her job about her post schooling life about everything
heck , they even compliment her for her smile in photots when it's exactly the same as mine
. yeah that's what everyone says. that me and my older sister look alike but she's just prettier smarter and everything that im not. the worst part is i have been watching my diet like some fuck and what the fuck happens?i get a
comment like this:" $%*&((&^%$$#@%^&*( watch your diet"
Me: huh what?
irritating relative: " i said you must start watching your diet''
what the fuck that was the most fucking offensive thing i've heard so far this year.i have been going to the gym and saying no to sinful food so religiously
and on the other hand he said that my plump older sister has slim down, he even said my overweight cousin has lost weight. what the fuck is his problem?
so what if im not as fucking skinny as his anorexic girlfriend? what the hell he's like what? 23, has a son, divorced and is on his third girlfriend?
i am fucking skinner than the two of them and he has to say these to poke at my ego. what do i have a billboard sign over my head that say hey over here!! call me fat or you're a dickhead
what is up with asian relatives? NOONE has passed a single good comment about me today. NOONE. and that';s why i always shut up at gatherings. because there is no one worth talking to. i dont think any one understand how i feel.
except for the rest of the middle childs in the world
i googled and there's something called a middle child syndrome
"Middle kids bemoan their fate as being ignored and often grow resentful of all the parental attention given to the oldest and the baby of the family, and feel short-shifted. Three kids triangulate sibling relationships, with one child at any given point feeling like the odd man out from the chumminess of the other two.
Parents tend to be much more easy-going, less anxious, and less demanding with second and third children. Thus many middle children grow up with a more relaxed attitude towards life than their older siblings; though they have to compete for family attention against the milestones set by the oldest, and growing up in their shadow. Middle children have to try a little harder to “be heard” or get noticed. The middle child usually has to fight harder for the attention of their parents and therefore crave the family spotlight. They may feel that they do not get as much praise as the older children for simple firsts like tying a shoe or riding a bike. Those things just become expected."
agreed
Middle Born #1
- Loner
- Quiet Shy
- Impatient
- Uptight
- Outgoing
- Friendly
- Loud
- Laid back
- Patient
Common Traits
- Flexible
- Diplomatic
- Rebellious
- Attention seeking
- Competitive
- Peacemakers
Second Child Characteristics
Because you can't seem to show the same excitement about your second child, as you do with your first-born, he/she is likely to develop certain 'second child traits' so that your attention will be drawn towards them.
- They may not respond to your bout of affection as a way of probably making you feel guilty about not giving them enough time. However, don't let this demotivate you. They want it much more than you could imagine.
- They are likely to do things that get them into trouble, simply as a way of seeking attention from you. Don't allow it all the time, but don't constantly reprimand them for it either.
- Your second child definitely hates a comparison to his older sibling. You simply must not say 'why can't you be like your brother/sister?', because this will further instigate him to behave otherwise.
- You are bound to face a negative attitude, a lot of sarcasm, and persistent anger from them. However, maintain your patience in such situations. These are walls they have built around them, that you can break through only over time with lots of love and affection.
- Because of the ignorance they may have faced, a second child may not be very ambitious, thinking that his efforts are not going to be recognized anyway. A second child may also face problems when it comes to dealing with pressure.
- Not every second child may behave in the aforementioned manner, but it is one of the fairly common behavioral problems in children that you may have to deal with. The second child tends to be a loner, and may not be very great with intimate relationships. He may not value them as much as his older sibling does, and this may manifest into commitment problems in the future.
im always the worst
Sunday, January 23, 2011
sour sixteen
sometimes i really hate being with my church youth group
i hear all their acheievements in school and be like -.- okay im totally wasting my time here in secondary school.
i slacked like crazy in sec1 and never seemed to bounce back.
then i started eating alot and became fat
honestly i think all my best memories are in primary school
even the one and only love of my life is in primary school
he's now in the elite school and im in an average school
he has tons of girls flirting with him twenty four seven and is the captain of the rugby team.
fuck my life
my few friends are close with each other and even my best friend doesnt tell me her secrets when i told her all of mine
i am honesly quite pissed about this.
she rather help someone else keep a secret
i know when i say "ok i'll keep the secret" my best friend doesnt count.All my friends have hurt me in one way or another and i am sick and tried of being pushed around like some piece of rubbish. I a really disappointed with the way my life has turned out in sec4. No one understand me fully. Everyone just thinks they do but honestly they dont.if i could reverse time i'll go all the way back to when i was six so i can be a better friend to them and be more persistent in ice skating.my life is unaccomplished because i didnt press hard enough for the things i love to do. things might have turned out different.im am really regretful of the wrong things i have dont in my life. i hate my friends.i thought they were suppose to be there for me. the minute love takes over.. i become the small speck in their lives.
yes i am talking about saturday.
i have been keeping this for exactly 24 hours and have yet to tell anyone about this. i think if i hold it in any longer i'll burst into flames and die.i love m. and i want to go to the same junior collage as him.but im too stupid. He is going to the best one in the country. i can then predict again that i will be going to some mediocre collage.i know im only 16. but i really think tat im in love with him. He runs through my head every second of my life and i blush the minute i hear his name. it's not infactuation cause i've loved him since i was 9. and now im sixteen and it's such a failure that i haven gotten over him yet.it' been 7 years. an infactuation is not suppose to last so long. i feel like an idiot when i reach tampines and hope that i can see him just once. unfortuately i never do.and he will never fall in love with a failure like me.so there i was all moody about my pathatic life when i though my friend would understand best. unknown to me she initiated a conversation with her crush of 2 years and it was successful. mine wasnt. i talked to him and he dissed me online. he just said that he was busy and logged off. while my friend J successful catted with him the whole night.and the following morning while we were in choir. ofcourse no body cared how i felt when she was busy blabbering about the night's experience.and of course no one is going to read this pathatic post because no one bloody cares.i just want to be with him... is that too much to ask for? what is God trying to do to me? tell me that love and friendship isnt meant for me?
i hear all their acheievements in school and be like -.- okay im totally wasting my time here in secondary school.
i slacked like crazy in sec1 and never seemed to bounce back.
then i started eating alot and became fat
honestly i think all my best memories are in primary school
even the one and only love of my life is in primary school
he's now in the elite school and im in an average school
he has tons of girls flirting with him twenty four seven and is the captain of the rugby team.
fuck my life
my few friends are close with each other and even my best friend doesnt tell me her secrets when i told her all of mine
i am honesly quite pissed about this.
she rather help someone else keep a secret
i know when i say "ok i'll keep the secret" my best friend doesnt count.All my friends have hurt me in one way or another and i am sick and tried of being pushed around like some piece of rubbish. I a really disappointed with the way my life has turned out in sec4. No one understand me fully. Everyone just thinks they do but honestly they dont.if i could reverse time i'll go all the way back to when i was six so i can be a better friend to them and be more persistent in ice skating.my life is unaccomplished because i didnt press hard enough for the things i love to do. things might have turned out different.im am really regretful of the wrong things i have dont in my life. i hate my friends.i thought they were suppose to be there for me. the minute love takes over.. i become the small speck in their lives.
yes i am talking about saturday.
i have been keeping this for exactly 24 hours and have yet to tell anyone about this. i think if i hold it in any longer i'll burst into flames and die.i love m. and i want to go to the same junior collage as him.but im too stupid. He is going to the best one in the country. i can then predict again that i will be going to some mediocre collage.i know im only 16. but i really think tat im in love with him. He runs through my head every second of my life and i blush the minute i hear his name. it's not infactuation cause i've loved him since i was 9. and now im sixteen and it's such a failure that i haven gotten over him yet.it' been 7 years. an infactuation is not suppose to last so long. i feel like an idiot when i reach tampines and hope that i can see him just once. unfortuately i never do.and he will never fall in love with a failure like me.so there i was all moody about my pathatic life when i though my friend would understand best. unknown to me she initiated a conversation with her crush of 2 years and it was successful. mine wasnt. i talked to him and he dissed me online. he just said that he was busy and logged off. while my friend J successful catted with him the whole night.and the following morning while we were in choir. ofcourse no body cared how i felt when she was busy blabbering about the night's experience.and of course no one is going to read this pathatic post because no one bloody cares.i just want to be with him... is that too much to ask for? what is God trying to do to me? tell me that love and friendship isnt meant for me?
Thursday, January 13, 2011
okay day at school
i decided to write everything here before i start work cause i dont want to be affected by what happens at school
okay the main idea is
weishan denies she said anything.
hard to believe but yeah
things are still awkward between me and alden because what i said about him looking like a frog donkey years ago was raked up
what the fuck
weishan had a fucking big part to play in it but whatever lah
it's no point trying to reason with her
cause she's like a fucking kid
what ever that has been said will automatically come out of her mouth
i dont even know if she would bitch about me to the choir clique
fuck that
i'll see tomorrow
went out with jace and benjamin and sheena today
still kinda fucking awkward between benjamin and i .
i dont know what the hell is going to happen
i dont know what the hell he thinks
i actually care cause he's a nice guy and i dont want one mistake that i made make him have negative opinions of me
it wont be fair
i cant expect things to go back to the way it was like last time
a wound never heals
aiyah fuck that la
anyway no one i know is ever going to see this anyway
so who gives a fuck what i say here right?
i decided to write everything i feel here
and only tell sheena these stuff cause she's the most trust worthy person i know.
i dont think i can trust whatever that any one else says
last year in secondary school
so no one will care what happens once i go jc right
the only thing now is how to get into a JC
i know that whatever that im facing now will most probably be forgotten by the time i reach there so i have to hope that nothing else happens
i bitch on my blog but i wont go arnd bitching about other in front of other cause it's like-.-
everyone betrays everyone nowadays
the world sucks
but we still have to live with it
i decided to write everything here before i start work cause i dont want to be affected by what happens at school
okay the main idea is
weishan denies she said anything.
hard to believe but yeah
things are still awkward between me and alden because what i said about him looking like a frog donkey years ago was raked up
what the fuck
weishan had a fucking big part to play in it but whatever lah
it's no point trying to reason with her
cause she's like a fucking kid
what ever that has been said will automatically come out of her mouth
i dont even know if she would bitch about me to the choir clique
fuck that
i'll see tomorrow
went out with jace and benjamin and sheena today
still kinda fucking awkward between benjamin and i .
i dont know what the hell is going to happen
i dont know what the hell he thinks
i actually care cause he's a nice guy and i dont want one mistake that i made make him have negative opinions of me
it wont be fair
i cant expect things to go back to the way it was like last time
a wound never heals
aiyah fuck that la
anyway no one i know is ever going to see this anyway
so who gives a fuck what i say here right?
i decided to write everything i feel here
and only tell sheena these stuff cause she's the most trust worthy person i know.
i dont think i can trust whatever that any one else says
last year in secondary school
so no one will care what happens once i go jc right
the only thing now is how to get into a JC
i know that whatever that im facing now will most probably be forgotten by the time i reach there so i have to hope that nothing else happens
i bitch on my blog but i wont go arnd bitching about other in front of other cause it's like-.-
everyone betrays everyone nowadays
the world sucks
but we still have to live with it
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